Posted by: dropapebble | August 24, 2009

Admit it. The Sea Turns.

Oh, okay, fine.

I do believe him.

It’s only fair: It’s like innocent until proven guilty. So, you know, will be watching for evidence to the contrary.

Haven’t done it in a long time, a leap of faith like this.

Here we go…

————————————– [EDIT]

But let me tell you something, my nonexistent audience. For all my advice giving, and the success at it so far, for my sure tone on the subject, let me really tell you.

You don’t have a f**king clue. You really don’t. I don’t. That really popular blogger who talks about love all the time doesn’t know a goddamn thing either.

You know what’s really weak? Not loving. Not having the balls to just do it, and stop scrambling to repair every tear in the walls you put up, and we all put ’em up after a few dumbasses tear us a new one.

We can guess, we can postulate, we can over-analyze until we’re blue in the face, but ti comes down to this: We can never do better than an educated guess on what you should do in any given different situation that just as easily might be the wrong thing. Some of us can get a better grasp on how to be lucky in figuring out the correct decision than others.

Science of it is just part of it. I don’t really believe it can be broken down into separate little measurable, experiential pieces; not if it’s to keep what it is in its sum. The parts won’t equal its sum.

It’s not about being sentimental here. It’s really just hit me. I have never been left so speechless in my life. And that’s something.

After all my experience, after all the people who could attest to me knowing what the hell I’m doing, and that I have a “smart” head about love, or at least a cautious one…

I don’t know jack. Who cares what you’re going to think if I look like I’ve let it go? That I’m willing to risk that pain again after all these years? That the fear has been outweighed by something else? Why do I waste my time and thoughts on trying to turn what I could get into something small and petty just because it fits some ugly picture of other people? Sure, it very well could be one of those ugliness, too, but it’s not fair to judge before it’s known. Who cares if you think he’s not in my league? I’m not embarrassed of him and if you don’t like it, then sucks to be you. I don’t care anymore if I look stupid in front of my own pride. You see…

The only thing is to DO IT. Love, for gods’ sakes, people. Go ahead, cry and tell them how you have issues because your heart was broken horrifically. I don’t mean to sound cruel, but it’s all BS. You can be happy. You can also be depressed and heartbroken—one is the possibility of the other. You can just keep not trusting. You can push them all away. Sure. You’ll only be safe from pain when you’re alone, and loneliness breeds a worse sort of swallowing pain.

Love without fear-–sure, there is SOOOO much to fear, so much that could go wrong! Sure! I don’t think I”m better than other people who do love so fearlessly anymore. I’m not saying be reckless and get with an OBVIOUS jerk, but let it go!

Rip that noose of the past off. Get back up when it knocks you down. Let it go. Take a deep breath and close your eyes. You gotta walk blind on this one. Hold your hand out. If you’re lucky, and you might be, someone will take it and help you. Sure, if you fall you look like an idiot..but you’re gonna look like an idiot in a happy way if that hand is holding yours.

I know each of you can be that strong, every timid, every angry, every depressed, every misunderstood person out there. And think of it this way: if you fall, dust yourself off and try again, because if you were strong enough in the first place to try, then you can survive it.

I know you can do it…because if you can…

So can I.


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