Posted by: dropapebble | April 20, 2010

Four Months Experiment

I don’t expect to write on this every day. I have so much homework to do. But real fast:

” I can’t believe it’s already been so many weeks already since I started doing this. I suppose that I never got to blogging about (I really detest blogs. Blogging. the word. ugh.) it on my wordpress. But I thought I’d go over it now.

[NOTE: It was never my intention to harm either myself or others during this period, but it is an occupational hazard due to the nature of the project]

For 4 months, I pledged to just go for it. And to just take as much rejection as I could in stride. If someone you’d normally not say yes to, SAY YES, and see if you like the date. If no, move on.

The point here is to stop the caring that someone decided they knew you enough to reject you after mere impressions. It’s life. Eh. It’s unfair. Keep ‘er goin’, right?

Another condition I set myself is that I would flirt with any guy I thought cute (not, you know, slutty, just actually walk up and talk to them instead of looking at them and thinking, ‘gay or taken’.)

Stop ‘not bothering’, and just do it. They have a gf, they’re gay, whatever. Get embarrassed and learn to live with it! Be okay with it, let it fade out.

That guy you’d not give a chance normally, go ahead (be careful though guys, no one says to go date someone who you get bad vibes from).

It’s not the BAD guy that intrigues, it’s the MYSTERIOUS one. But don’t rely on the mystique forever.

I’ll see how I feel over the whole thing after enough time has gone by. (4 months in total).

I just want to see if an entirely different approach, or opening perspective than I normally employ might help or hinder me. Why not, right?

So far, I’ve been mostly successful, even if I’ve had two awkward experiences during this time. If I get into a relationship, then I do, if not, I don’t. 🙂 It’s been..interesting so far.

Wish me luck, and if you want to read about how it goes, please check out my wordpress:

dropapebble.wordpress.com

It’s under ‘websites’ on my profile in the sidebar on your left, too.

Thanks for reading!

-V.

PS: The point of this ‘project’ which was suggested to me by a professor, is to let go of the rock. Let go of the fear. Learn to get past more quickly and better absorb failure. You want to stop thinking you failed and so do nothing, before you’ve even tried.”

-From my facebook.
I guess I’m writing in bold now. Bloody thing. Anyway. So far, me going on a date with someone I normally wouldn’t didn’t go well at all. Well, actually, I really enjoyed his company. And I think he’s not a bad guy under all that social layering he’s put on. But, things just haven’t sparked, and since it’s possible he’s gay or bi…well, perhaps it’s best I’m not quite his type. I think I’d prefer him as a friend, but then again I don’t even know him very much, so I can’t say this for sure, but either way, he’s decided he knows me enough on first impression to not want to see me again.

I suppose I was insulted at first, but then just because on average I”m rated a 7 on a 1-10 scale, 10 being best, doesn’t mean EVERYONE thinks that—beauty is really about one’s own unique preferences. Guys a good friend of mine think are sexy I’m not too crazy about looks-wise. And also, if he is gay and just is lying about it because he’s private about that sort of thing, then I’m REALLY not his type. ^__^

So either way, it’s suffice to say I’ve embarassed myself thoroughly, but it’s been fun, believe it or not, being something other than staunch and regal about everything. It’s okay to admit I made a mistake and to laugh at myself, as corny as that sounds!
The other failure was this guy who actually asked me out first. And, at first, I was interested. But I got bad vibes from him. I suppose his lack of hygiene (which wasn’t apparent in his appearance at first) and his small crueltys were defininte turn offs. (I’ve since been told maybe he was trying to be funny and impress me. Oh, dear.)

Either way, like a cowardly mofo, I slunk away instead of just being straight out. Normally I’m VERY straight out, blunt, to many’s chagrin. Afterward, one day, I saw him sit next to me. I KNEW he’d seen me but wasn’t going to sit next to me since it had become apparent I was avoiding him. So, I flagged him over and after that I haven’t seen him, but I no longer feel it’s awkward. Now he can pretend convincingly he’s just missing me in the crowd or we’d sit together. Gracefully, we can part. So, it was…an amendment of sorts. I try..heh.
As for who I’m dating now? Well, that’s my business. But I’ll keep you posted on how it’s going (probalby only when it’s rocky!) But for now, nothing new to update!
Adios!

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